Women with ‘anxiety’ (the reason that I put this in inverted commas is because this is generally something that people make up in their head, and then they hold onto the idea that they “have anxiety”), tend to have sex for the purpose of attachment. This can make sex intense, without it being pleasurable.
Anxious women will worry more about sex, yet they also equate the quality of sex with the quality of their relationship and generally, they also won’t enjoy the sex because they are so in their head the whole time.
Sex is about being 1000000% present. It is like you are in your own bubble and the rest of the world doesn’t matter. It is one of the most present things that you can do. However if you’re in your head the whole time, you aren’t being present and the sex isn’t going to be as enjoyable.
Anxious women are more likely to experience pain with sex and are more likely to use alcohol or other drugs before sex. Does this sound familiar? Are you one of the women that say to me ‘when I’m drunk the sex is good....’
I’m sure you’re already aware that you’re anxiety is affecting your sex life, but hopefully I’m really shining some light on this. Sex isn’t something that you can think about whilst your doing the deed. It is about surrendering, letting go and being in your BODY and out of your head. For most women this can be really challenging so I want you to write down 3 things that help you to calm the F down.
For me, my favourite things include dancing to music
with my eyes closed and letting the music move my body, having a bath, or doing some sensual yoga.
This is what you need to do before you have sex.
Also. LOSE THE CONTROL! A man (generally speaking) wants to be in control and dominate and we want to surrender. It’s in our DNA and it’s our biology. When you constantly try and control sex, your man will feel emasculated (unless it’s the occasion where you are dominating him as a turn on/roll play – that’s different) and the polarity between you and him will diminish, making the chemistry weaker.
RELAX into your feminine and allow him to be the masculine one.
Also, if this blog post sounds like you; Babe, you NEED to fix your anxiety and get rid of it. This is what I’ve helped women do in such a short amount of time with my 1:1 coaching. Sex is important for you and
your relationship. So, for your own sake, don’t let this slide.