166: Honouring your feminine energy as a business owner
This is a juicy chat I had with my friend Christina on her podcast Her Life By Design. We talk about periods, libido, feminine energy, launching and business.
Can you talk a little about why having your period is so important?
My problem with the pill, IUD etc, is that when you go to the doctor you're very rarely given every option. For example, the doctor doesn't say "you also have the fertility awareness method, where you track and understand your cycle". And the doctor doesn't say, "your heavy periods are caused by estrogen dominance and low progesterone so you need to eat turmeric, eat more vegetables...". They just throw HBC at you. My problem is that the marketing around it of 'birth control has allowed women to be empowered'. Erm, no it fucking hasn't. We've given our power away to the medical industry and we have lost the power in our cycle. There is nothing more empowering than understanding and knowing your cycle.
With your cycle, it's not just about your period itself, its about ovulation. In our cycles, we have four different stages and we allow ourselves to feel every emotion under the sun in a really beautiful way. By having this cycle and embracing each phase of your cycle, it means that if you follow it you won't burnout. You get rest time, and you get to enjoy the highs.
When you have a healthy cycle, you're going to be in rhythm, you're going to feel good, you're going to have a good libido, you're going to allow yourself to feel the different versions of you during your cycle. And by honouring the different versions of you during your cycle, you'll actually be able to enjoy it.
How can you work on accelerating getting your period back after coming off hormonal birth control?
Every single person is different. Whatever your body is doing, it's not broken, it's not wrong, it's always trying to protect itself. You want to support it. As a rule of thumb, you want to be preparing your body to come off HBC 3 months prior. You want to be looking at all your vitamins, inflammation, immunity levels. You want to be eating a very nutrient dense diet in order for you to support your body to feel safe to bring your cycle back. In additional to this, your body isn't going to bring your cycle back until your subconscious brain knows that the world is safe around you to hold a baby. In terms of the woo side, you need to take time to connect to your feminine, slow down, doing things that you love doing, connecting to your body, mediating, dancing, having long baths, sending energy to your womb, hugging your body, self pleasure.
How do you shift yourself into that more feminine energy? As entrepreneurs especially, all day we're following a schedule, we're being that boss version of ourselves. How do you shift after a day of being in your masculine?
I love this question because I feel like on IG there are a lot of feminine coaches that are really watery-earthy elements. So, I'm a double fire and an air (double Sag and a Gemini, enneagram 8 and a generator, so thats a LOT of energy. I used to think that because I was so fiery by nature, I'm not feminine. The feminine isn't about whether you're fiery or earthy, it's all about that receptive energy, slowing down, looking after yourself, going inwards, and honouring what your body and heart needs. So for example, I can be super fiery during the day, on my client calls, on a podcast but I have learnt to become so strong in my boundaries so that as soon as I switch off, I'm done for the night - I have a bath, I slow down, I make dinner, I read my book. Everything is about what I feel like doing right now. Even during the day I'm doing these things, I wear nice clothes, I wear fancy lingerie I feel sexy, I light candles at my desk, I always have a tea on my desk, I have slow mornings. I think there's a common misconception even with entrepreneurs of 'if I'm in my feminine, then I'm not going to get anything done all day, I need structure'. And what I want to say to that is, because of the way our nervous system work, your feminine won't feel safe to be flourishing if there isn't masculine structure. It's just about not becoming so structured that you're not enjoying the flow.
Do you do different things during THE phases of your cycle?
I do to an extent. I try and keep myself really relatable, in that we have to still live our life. I can't be like, oh I don't feel like doing that because I'm in my luteal phase. There's a time and a place where you need to have the discipline to show up because people are relying on you. If I need to do my accounts, I'll do them in my luteal phase because I am more analytical. When I'm bleeding, I won't fill my calendar full of clients and podcasts etc.
What would be your tips for people if they're in long term relationships and things have become stale, or if someone is dating and they need to reignite the fire?
The thing with libido, is there are two sides: energetic and hormonal. Often the hormonal side has been set of by the energetic side of things. I'll paint a picture - your stressed at work, you hate your job, then you come home and you don't know how to receive, you don't know how to ask what you want, which makes you more stressed and releases more cortisol. The cortisol is making your libido plummet, but the root problem is your job and you then biting your head off at your boyfriend. So number 1 thing, try to understand what the root cause is. Yes, you want to make sure you're eating well, exercising etc (do this first) but really look at what is out of alignment in my life? Where am I outputting too much energy in my life? You want me doing things that are filling up your life force energy.
What are your top tips for getting clients?
So, I always have to feel like launching it. I have to feel excited for it, I have to know what I'm launching is going to be transformational for my clients. The bottom line is, it's all about my vibe. I focus on being receptive and being in my feminine energy. If you're just hustling and doing IG lives everyday, and putting up a million slides, that is actually repelling clients. It's also draining for you so by the time it gets to actually running the course. You should have proved to your audience that you are worth the investment before the launch. I manifest, I cast my spells, I have orgasms. I do the stuff that makes me feel the vibe. And when I feel the vibe, the money comes in.
I believe that you can have everything, but I do not believe that you can be hustling in business and maintain a healthy relationship, be deeply happy, be a mom and have a family. But if you're deeply in your feminine, where you can ask for help, hire people when you don't want to do shit, you're an amazing lover because you priorities yourself and your relationship, and you can also be a mom because everything is in flow... that shit is sustainable.
Ladies, if you loved this episode and you want to learn more, check out the Feminine As Fuck Beginner Bundle, particularly the new masterclass I added on 'Tapping Into Your Feminine Energy to Avoid Burnout'.
Also, I'm very excited to announce that BABA is open for enrolment! So, if you want your business and life of your dreams to be the most juicy, delicious and orgasmic thing you do everyday, this is for you.