The Blog Archives

The Dark Side of Personal Development

The Dark Side of Personal Development

Personal development is great. But, what a lot of people fail to realise is that there IS a dark side to personal development... so let's talk about it. 


The reality of the situation is... a lot of people think that they have done the work, yet they didn't. Instead, their personal development has led to emotional manipulation. What I mean by this is that just because you have done personal development doesn't make you a good person or more enlightened than anybody else. You're hum. And maybe for you, you're able to navigate situations better than another human who hasn't done any work on themselves and doesn't know how to do nervous system regulation, but... this does NOT mean you are better than them. 


The thing is to really anchor into right now, ladies and gentlemen, if you actually did the work, then you wouldn't be looking down on people thinking that you're better than others or having some godly complex of I'm better than you.


These sorts of people who are engaging in, let's just say, the dark side of personal development seems to believe that no one else's perspectives are as valid as theirs. When in reality, what doing the work means, in my opinion, is you're actually able to stay regulated in challenging moments, things no longer trigger you, and of course, they're not acting from this reactive and emotional place; you're able to love people unconditionally, they're not doing that. You're able to hold multiple realities at once and not feel the need to always be right. They're often also not doing that. You feel safe and regulated, not being heard, seen, validated, or understood.


Truly doing the work means that you are able to meet people where they are without judgment or conditional love. THAT is a sign of TRUE embodied healing. 

You do the work so that you can live a happier life. You don't do the work to be better than other people.


Let me make this very, very clear to you:


💦You are human. 


💦You are going to have shit days. 


💦You're allowed to have a vent because sometimes everything feels like it's crumbling, and you do not need to feel like you're being manipulated.


💦You do not need to feel like you're being judged or put down because you're not being positive in that moment.


💦You're allowed to ask a question because you're confused and not be told that you're "not listening" or "not validating my experience."


And... you don't have to get sucked into the DARK SIDE of personal development. 

I talk a wholeeee lot more on my podcast episode 366 if you want to hear more!