You’re Not Losing It, You’re Expanding: The Energetics Behind Your Next Level

The messy middle, the stretch between where you are and where you know you’re meant to be... it's not a fun place to be, but it's a necessary part of the growth process. Luckily for you I've been there about a hundred times before (or at least it feels like I have lol), so I’m going to break down the real energetics of expansion—not just the copy/paste mindset hacks, but the somatic, nervous-system-level shifts required to actually hold your next level. YES, there's a major difference.

If you’ve been doing all the “right” things but still feel stuck, I want to help you understand what’s actually in the way so you can finally get your quantum leap.

P.S. Want the full convo? Click here to tune into the podcast episode for the voice-note version of this post—it is so action packed and juicy! ↓

Let’s dive in and start with the honest truth no one wants to admit: Expansion doesn’t always feel good. It feels like resistance. It feels like ego death, contraction, panic, and "I can't do this anymore" energy.

That’s not actually a sign that something’s wrong, though; that is the expansion.

When you are stepping into something unfamiliar—whether it’s a healthier relationship, a bigger business, more visibility, motherhood, whatever—your body doesn’t recognize any safety in it yet. And your nervous system will literally perceive it as danger. That’s why we contract. That’s why the resistance comes flowing in. Your ego panics because it’s losing control.

When I was launching my book, for example, the amount of resistance I felt was seriously intense. The pregnancy hormones didn’t help. But even beyond that, my whole body was in this push-pull. I had a desire for this next level, but the deep fear of actually being seen was in the way. So, I let myself have the meltdowns. I let myself cry, spiral, rage, and break down. Shoving it down doesn’t help; it just creates more resistance.

(I dish the full story on the breakdowns, breakthroughs, and behind-the-scenes moves that got my book, Becoming HER, to NYT Bestseller in this podcast episode.)

And I'm confident the same will happen for you.

Expansion is your nervous system adjusting to a new frequency. It’s not a cute Pinterest quote. It’s a literal rewiring in your body. So when you feel the shakiness, the resistance, the vulnerability, the voice in your head that says "I can’t do this"—you’re actually right on track.

Here’s how you know you’re not crazy: think about the thing you want (the outcome, the freedom, the peace, the version of you on the other side). When you think about that result, does your body feel like it’s curling in on itself? Or does it feel warm, open, radiant, maybe even buzzy?

Now, contrast that with how it feels to take the action step toward that thing. Big difference, right? The outcome feels expansive. The action step feels terrifying.

That fear isn’t a red light. That fear is the stretching of your comfort zone in real time.

Learning how to discern between fear and intuition is one of the most important distinctions I teach in my work.

Fear feels emotional, activated, and loud. It will be like, "Oh my god, what if I fail? What if I waste money? What if people judge me?"

But intuition, on the other hand? It’s so f*cking neutral. Intuition doesn’t yell, it whispers. It’s just a calm knowing. A 'no' that feels clean. A 'yes' that feels grounded. There’s no drama in intuition.

If you’re in an internal tug of war with yourself, chances are, it’s not your intuition saying 'no'. It’s your ego having a fear flare.

Keep in mind: The universe responds to what you do (not what you say you want).

Every time you hesitate on the thing you know you want, you send a message to the universe: "I’m not ready. I’m not worthy. I don’t believe in myself."

Every time you take the leap—even if you’re trembling, even if it’s messy, even if it’s the "worst" timing—the universe mirrors that back. You’ll be met. You’ll be held.

You have to remember: You do not manifest from your mind. You manifest from your body and how your nervous system feels about what you say you want. If your body is coded with "I’m not safe to hold this," then guess what? You won’t hold it. If your system is humming with worthiness, trust, and safety... boom. It shows up, sometimes instantly.

Your embodiment is the portal to your next level.

You don’t read your way into your next level. You don’t journal your way out of trauma. You don’t positive-think your way into deeper receivership. You feel your way there. You embody it. You stop outsourcing your power to vision boards and start becoming the version of you who naturally attracts what she desires. You stop forcing and start feeling.

This is the entire premise of embodied manifestation—where your healing becomes your magnetism, your baseline becomes expansion, and your being does the work that your brain used to try to do.

Now, this doesn't mean you need to be "high vibe" all the time. You can be in a bad mood. You can be messy. You can be raging in your car or sobbing into pasta. It’s not about perfection. It’s about compatibility.

The last thing I'll say about this for now is that your energetic minimum is what you tolerate.

If you’re only ever investing just enough in yourself—emotionally, financially, energetically—you’re going to keep receiving just enough in return.

If you only buy when something is discounted, you’ll attract relationships and clients who only value you when you are discounted. If you say you want more, but you continue tolerating chaos, disorganization, flaky clients, or half-assed dating energy, your embodiment isn’t lining up with your desires.

And this isn’t about shaming yourself. It’s instead about noticing: Where are you canceling yourself out? Where are you self-sourcing from control instead of opening to receive?

Stop waiting for the perfect moment. I promise, it won’t come. The most expansive leaps almost never happen at the most convenient time. They happen in the chaos, the wildness, and the moments of rage.

You expand when you meet yourself in the mess and do it anyway. That’s the real initiation. That’s the real magic.

Are you ready to step into the version of yourself who doesn’t need to overthink or force her next level, but instead she simply becomes it? If so, get on the waitlist for HER Year and be the first to know when doors open again!

P.S. If you haven’t yet worked on healing your trauma, I highly recommend doing Queen Alchemy and/or The Immersion first so you can get the absolute most out of HER Year.

It’s not just about stepping into your next level... it’s about being able to hold it. Don’t skip the foundational work. Your nervous system will thank you.