Retraining My Nervous System & Turning Pain into Purpose: My Untold Story from COVID Lockdown in London

How do you rebuild your nervous system after trauma? What does feminine leadership look like when you’re in survival mode?

I’m sharing the real story of how I healed emotionally, regulated my nervous system, and found feminine power during one of the hardest seasons of my life.

I’ve been reflecting a lot lately on what really got me to where I am now...not just in business, but in my body, my nervous system healing journey, and the way I lead myself through life.

It wasn’t the moments when everything was going right. It was the moments where I felt like life was knocking me down over and over and I didn’t know if I could get back up.

2020 was a hard year for all of us.
Some harder than others.

But pain is personal, just like safety is subjective.

For me, being in London for 10 months—away from my family, my friends, and everything familiar—was one of the hardest seasons I’ve ever lived through.

When the pandemic hit, I left New York and flew to London. I had this intuitive hit that going home to Australia would leave me stuck there (thank goodness I trusted my intuition on that one).

(And for anyone wondering how I just hopped over to London and lived there for nearly a year—I’m a British citizen, so I have a passport.)

Like most people, I thought this would all blow over in a few weeks…maybe a couple months. But weeks turned into months…months into what felt like a jail sentence with no end date. London’s lockdown laws were strict, the winter days were short, the weather was often shitty, and I didn’t have any close friends around me.

I remember drawing a boundary with my friends and family (over FaceTime) that we couldn’t say “I miss you,” because it would instantly make me burst into tears.

I kept thinking: "If I’m spiraling and I have somatic tools… how is the average person navigating trauma recovery without nervous system support?"

And the truth? A lot of people weren’t. As suicide rates climbed, I could feel this wave of anger, grief, and pain building inside me. And in a way I never expected, I understood why people choose to end their life. Not because I wanted to, but because when you feel that trapped in your body, in your life, in your reality…it makes sense that people see death as freedom.

That scared me. But it also awakened something in me.

It didn’t make me give up — it awakened a new level of emotional resilience and feminine leadership.

And if you're wondering what trauma actually is, read this blog post.

I started doing this thing on Instagram where I’d take us all on these “virtual trips". I’d pick a country, grab some photos from Pinterest, cook a themed meal, and build a whole story series to help us feel less trapped in our bodies, and less alone in the emotional chaos of trauma and nervous system dysregulation.

There was one weekend when it got so bad that I started looking at $10K economy tickets from London to Melbourne. Even with the 2-4 week waitlist, the 14-day hotel quarantine, and the emotional cost of going backwards.

I was that desperate for safety.

But something in my body told me…this isn’t the answer. Going home would’ve felt like safety—but not the kind that rewires your nervous system or supports true feminine expansion. It would’ve kept me stuck.

I remember feeling this intuitive truth of: “If you go home now, you’ll go backwards. Even though it hurts like hell, staying here is your evolution.”

That moment of saying no to the safety net changed me.

I’ve carried it with me whenever I’ve wanted to give up or return to what’s familiar. Because if I could hold myself through that, learn to walk again after a ski accident, heal from jaw surgery (wouldn't wish that on my worst enemy), rebuild my nervous system through somatic trauma healing, expand my business, and rise while the world fell apart...

Then I can keep showing up now. And so can you, friend.

You can only connect the dots looking back, not forward.

When I look back on London, I can see how it shaped me.

It made me more resilient and taught me emotional self-leadership, expanded my nervous system capacity, forced me to get creative with how I supported myself and others, gave me Jelly (my sweet angel dog), exploded my business and showed me how to hold more—more life, more pain, more joy, more success, all at once.

And the biggest thing? I did it all alone. No family. No boyfriend. No girls' nights. Just me, my truth, and the decision to rise.

THIS is the kind of rebirth that happens inside my 3-day Immersion.

It’s not a course, a workbook, a retreat, or "5 steps to feel better."

It’s a portal and a full-body activation. It’s a cracking open that births a new version of you—the one who knows how to lead herself even when life gets messy.

Fear of discomfort doesn't stop me. Sure, my ego gets louder and it feels harder, but when I want the outcome, I show up for myself.

I've had about 300 expansion moments in my life so far. London being one of them. Pregnancy being another (I mean your uterus expands 500 to 1000x times its pre-pregnancy size). And not to mention launching my book while 7 months pregnant and having it become an instant NYT Bestseller  (here's my ‘Tell-All’ podcast episode on becoming an author, btw!).

Let me end with this—you, my friend, are MADE for expansion. Your body is literally designed to do it.

And this is why I host The Immersion every year. Because this work is that important and the woman I became in London was forged in the fire. And I want you to meet your fire, get rid of your excuses, remember your strength, and walk out changed.

You don’t need another plan. You need to meet yourself deeper than you ever have before. And that’s what we do inside The Immersion.

Join the waitlist to be the first to know when the next one will be.