How to Become HER (Part 5/5): Stop Mothering Him and Let Him Lead You

Part of becoming HER is also showing up as HER in your relationship—and that means being willing to surrender the parts of you that are gripping so tightly onto control, even when you say you want your man to lead.

But before we dive in... here are the first four posts in this juicy "How to Become HER" series in case you missed them. Reading them first will provide more layers to what I'm going to share with you today:

#1. Why Being Around the Right Women Quantum Leaps You

#2. Nervous System Habits That Anchor Your Next Level

#3. Heal Your Money Trauma & Build Wealth That Feels Safe to Hold

#4. The Real Secret to Lasting Self-Confidence

Here’s the thing... you say you want him to lead. You want to feel that masculine presence. You want the decisions to be taken off your plate so you can finally breathe, soften, and not carry it all. But then the moment he steps forward, your nervous system freaks out. You jump in, you correct, you micromanage, or you shut it down before he even gets a chance to lead at all.

Why? Because control feels like safety. And on some level, you’ve learned that being in control means nothing bad will happen—the house won’t fall apart, the schedule won’t get missed, the kids will be fine, you’ll stay ahead of the chaos.

But what I want you to really sit with is that control only gives you the illusion of safety, not true safety. And it’s exhausting you.

I know you’re tired of being the one who remembers everything. Tired of always holding it all. Tired of making the decisions—not just in your home or your work, but in your relationship too. You want to be able to let go, and feel the relief of someone else leading for once. But in order to have that, you have to loosen your grip. You have to make space for him to lead. Until you do, you’ll keep mothering your man instead of magnetising him.

This is one of the pillars of becoming HER. It’s not just about what you’re doing in your career, your healing, or your health… it’s also about how you’re showing up in your romantic relationship.

And if you’ve made being in your feminine receptive energy mean you’re lazy, weak, or an inconvenience, then of course it doesn’t feel safe to let go. Of course, you’re gripping tighter. Of course, you keep proving your worth by doing it all yourself.

But what if I told you that real safety, the kind of safety that makes true receivership possible, comes from being deeply embodied in your boundaries?

This is where being Empoweredly Submissive comes in. It’s not about being passive or shutting down your voice. It’s not about abandoning yourself. It’s about being so anchored in your “no,” so rooted in your body, so self-led and regulated, that surrender becomes safe. Letting go becomes sexy. Following his lead becomes natural because you’re no longer leading from fear; you’re leading from trust.

Only the most empowered women can truly let go, and only the most embodied women can soften without losing themselves.

And that’s what feminine leadership really is. It’s not about doing less or dumbing yourself down. It’s about knowing you are safe in yourself, so you no longer need to control everything, prove your value, or outsource your safety to your productivity.

If you want your man to lead, you have to let him lead. And if you want to live in your feminine, that means knowing when to take the reins, and when to hand them over without spiralling.

Because feminine leadership is not about always leading. It’s about knowing when to lean back, when to trust, when to receive, and when to be the lover instead of the mother.

So let this be your reflection today:

• Where are you gripping onto control as a stand-in for safety?

• Where are you silencing your feminine under the pressure to do it all?

• Where can you let yourself receive, not because you're incapable, but because you're ready?

And most importantly… are you owning your voice in the moments that actually create true safety? Because the more you anchor into your boundaries, the safer you’ll feel to surrender. And the more you surrender, the more your man will rise.