How to Keep Your Marriage Hot After Kids: The Polarity Secret No One Talks About

During a recent live Zoom call, someone asked Hal and me how our polarity has changed since having Tripp. Our answer?

...It's deepened.

We've still gone through the chaos of parenthood that every couple goes through. But the way we've moved through it together and the way that he's LED US has kept the polarity SO ALIVE, even with him having multiple back surgeries and sex not being as frequent because of that.

Last week, Hal stepped in at 11 pm. I'd been in Tripp's room for over an hour, trying to put him to sleep, feeling completely spent, and doing that thing where you're so tired you can't think straight, but also can't stop trying. Hal came in, took over without a word, and sent me back to bed.

I didn't argue or say, "It's fine, I've got it." I just went back to bed.

It's these moments that are the most important. Because life isn't made up of the big moments. It's the little everyday moments that ADD UP TO THE BIG MOMENTS.

The grand gestures don't matter if your husband isn't leading you and reducing your mental load on a daily basis.

I don't care if we haven't gone on a date in six months. I do care that he'll swap with me at 11 pm, tidy up the kitchen after dinner, do my taxes, and remember to get my Hillary Duff tickets (and be in line behind 19K people online when I totally forgot they were released 😂).

✓ I don't know what kind of life insurance we have. But I know we have it.

✓ I don't know when my car needs a service. He just takes it in when it's time.

Sure, I'm breastfeeding, the breadwinner, and running events, but he deals with SO MUCH so that I don't have to worry about it for a second.

We do different things, but for the same team. What he does lets me stay soft, and what I do lets him feel like the man of the house. And that dynamic is what keeps us out of the roommate trap that so many couples fall into after a baby arrives.

Polarity doesn't disappear because parenthood is hard. It's because of the buildup of resentment that gets shoved under the carpet.

Mum starts operating from the energy of "I know best." She stops leaving room for him to lead or parent, and it feels controlling and distrustful to him. Meanwhile, she turns bitter because "he's not doing enough."

That postpartum resentment happens for reasons that are so hard to explain unless you're a mother, and it's real. I feel it too. But what you do with it is everything.

This is exactly what I’ll dive into in Be a Lover, Not a Mother LIVE, which is a new version of the Be a Lover, Not a Mother program that I've been running since 2020.

I've been teaching this work for years, but since getting married, becoming a mother, and having an increased mental load, I've wanted to add new additions to it as I've continued to deepen my somatic work.

Here's what's new in this live round that won't be available once the doors close:

• Four brand new LIVE modules built specifically around body-based work, so you're not just understanding this intellectually, but your nervous system is actually rewiring. We're covering polarity through parenting (yes, even with babies, toddlers, and exhausted nights), boundaries as a felt experience in your body, softening practice, and receivership.

• A live hot-seat coaching call where you bring your actual situations to me! The breakthroughs you'll have as you watch another woman can land just as deeply in your body as your own, which is why I'm running real-time hot-seat coaching on Zoom inside this round. You bring the stuck spot, and I'll work it through with you on the call.

• A Telegram community where I'm actively answering your questions with nuance and context (it's as close to working with me 1:1 as it gets outside of my high-level containers).

Between the dishwasher, the bookings, his feelings, and the kids, you've had so much on your shoulders, and I'm excited for you to feel the full body EXHALE when he starts leading you within DAYS.

Remember, you can't actually be ravished when you’re stuck in control-freak mode. Be a Lover, Not a Mother LIVE is how you reduce your mental load and start being his woman again within DAYS.