The Female Breadwinner's Guide to Love, Money, & Polarity

As a high-performing woman, it can be easy to slip into the mindset that you have to choose between success/money OR love. As though the more money you make, the more of "the man" you are in the relationship.

You end up defaulting into control and being the protector and provider because you've internalised that being the breadwinner = being the one in charge.

Meanwhile, you're daydreaming about simply being in your garden, traveling to luxury locations, and slicing open a fresh loaf of bread.

I want to make something super clear: Being the breadwinner doesn't make you masculine. Money is not inherently masculine.

However, many women can unconsciously use money as a way to control a man to give themselves the illusion of safety rather than actually trusting themselves and trusting him.

If the roles were flipped, you'd call that an abusive relationship. Yet many women, unbeknownst to them, are subtly using the money they make to gain a sense of control.

And this tells me one of three things:

1. You don't trust him.
2. You don't trust yourself to speak up, draw boundaries, and use your voice (this is what makes you actually feel safe enough to receive from him and be led by him).
3. Your body and your nervous system don't have a good relationship with money.

I've watched the story of "This is the cost of being a successful, ambitious woman. You can have the money or the passion. Not both." destroy the intimacy of some of the most successful women I know.

When you hold this story in your mind and body, you believe that you are the source of income, security, safety, protection... of everything. And you're piling this on top of being the default parent, creating a human/breastfeeding, having a monthly cycle, and keeping the house tidy.

When your body feels like it's the source of all this, then DUH, of course, you cannot soften, receive, or let him lead. You're stuck in your hyper-masculinity because you think you need to be.

So, because your body now feels that hyper-masculine = familiar (and what feels familiar feels safe), you continue to white-knuckle making money because you get a sense of control and trust from it.

Of course, then your polarity of him feeling like the masculine man that ravishes you starts to fade because your relationship with money is blocking you from your relationship with the masculine.

As I always say... Men & money go hand in hand.

(Psst...dive deeper into this convo in this juicy podcast episode!) ↓

Your money patterns and your love patterns run via the same nervous system, if that makes sense.

If you're in scarcity with money, you're likely in scarcity with your man. If you struggle to receive money, you likely struggle to receive help and leadership. Healing one will support your healing in the other.

You don't have to choose between being rich and being ravished, but you do need to heal the part of your body that thinks you do.

That's exactly what Be a Lover, Not a Mother is built for, and I'm adding 4 new LIVE classes based on working with the body. So now, you not only will have the intellectual understanding of men and women, feminine and masculine needs and desires, and communication, but you'll have the nervous system re-wiring so that you can, without a doubt, show up as the feminine so he rises into the masculine (and heal your relationship with money in the process).