How I Set Myself Up for a Positive Postpartum (Yes, It’s Possible)

Okay, let’s just get this out there: I’m 14 days postpartum and, honestly? I’m in actual heaven.

Now, I know that’s not what most people expect to hear about the postpartum experience (especially with the internet being flooded with horror stories and “no one tells you how hard it is” posts). And I'm not here to invalidate anyone's struggle. But the truth for me is, the rawness of life right now feels like the most beautiful thing I could experience.

The ability to ask for help has never felt so easy. The love I have for my body is unexpected and unexplainable. I’m in awe of what it’s just done. Time feels like it’s standing still. Yes, I’m a bit sleep-deprived. But I also know it’s temporary. And because of that, I’m endlessly grateful for every giggle my sweet baby Tripp makes, his sigh after he yawns, his tiny sleepy faces, and every fleeting moment we’re in right now.

As I’ve shared in previous blogs, I believe that just like anything else in life, a smooth postpartum is about setting yourself up for success ahead of time.

My lactation consultant and my postpartum doula both said they're not surprised I'm feeling this amazing because, quite frankly, I laid the groundwork before birth for the ultimate experience. I share more about that HERE.

And yes, I'm sure there are people who did everything I'm about to share and still had a rough go. I totally acknowledge that. But let's be real: the internet often leans toward the "keeping it real" and "don't want to seem insensitive" narrative, which means we hear way more about the hard, negative stories than the easy, heart exploding ones. 

So consider this your permission slip—you actually can have an easy, blissful, and positive postpartum. If I can have it, then you can have it, too. And of course, things might change in 2 weeks time LOL. 

For me, consciously preparing for an amazing postpartum experience started way back before we even conceived our baby.

You can read all about my conception prep HERE and how it laid the foundation for a much easier pregnancy than it otherwise could have been. And because of that, I had the energy, the drive, and the motivation during pregnancy to actually prepare for postpartum.

This is where so many people drop the ball.  They get so hyper-focused on pregnancy and birth that they completely forget to set themselves up for the fourth trimester. I'm telling you, I spent equal time preparing for birth AND for postpartum. 

I already live a very healthy lifestyle, so I wasn’t having to change/add/take away anything as far as nutrition and exercise went. But, I did focus more on eating lots of protein, chicken liver, and iron-rich foods that I knew would support me during pregnancy and also postpartum. (More on eating for fertility HERE.)

I also stayed incredibly physically active throughout my pregnancy. I knew that the more active I was, the easier my birth and recovery would be. My pelvic floor specialist confirmed this, too. She sees a clear correlation in her clients, in that those who stay active right up until the end of pregnancy have a much easier postpartum experience and recovery. 

So even in the third trimester, when the thought of a 30-minute Pilates class made me want to die, I'd still get in 20 minutes and just pace myself. I walked one to two times a day, even if it was just for 10 minutes. 

My husband, Hal, and I made sure to take both a childbirth class and a postpartum class. And whilst we both don’t remember everything from the classes, I think the biggest thing that we got out of them was actually just feeling more confident as we went into this new chapter of life. The classes were really helpful, especially in preparing for a homebirth, because they allowed Hal and I to practice techniques that would help us during the birth and helped us feel more confident in knowing what to expect during it.

Side note: you may want to check out my recent nesting vlog to see all the non-toxic baby essentials I'm using! ↓

My birth environment itself was a KEY component in the smooth postpartum I've been experiencing.

I intuitively feel that your birth directly impacts your postpartum experience, and our birth was the most incredible and peaceful experience (obviously it was hard, but birthing your baby at home, in peace, with home-cooked foods, your own shower and bed etc, is the most beautiful experience!).

Your birth environment can also affect your body feeling safe, and therefore your birth experience and labour, and we also know that it affects how your baby feels as well as they come into the world.

Waking up afterwards and having my mum and mother-in-law there to help us, my dad bringing up eggs and avocado on freshly made gluten-free sourdough, and being in our own bed was nothing short of priceless. Having a shower after birth in my own shower, and one of my midwives drying me down and getting me dressed was quite literally healing. I’ll talk more about this when we share our full birth story on the podcast!

My most important postpartum prep was letting myself receive ALL the support.

We hired a postpartum doula and a night doula/nurse while I was still pregnant. At the time of writing this, we've used them once each, with more days booked for our postpartum doula after my parents leave, and the night nurse coming twice next week.

Obviously, all of these extra things are an added expense, but I honestly cannot emphasise the value of having support in these early days postpartum in whatever way makes sense for you. It really does take a village to raise a child, and especially in the first few weeks postpartum, you need to be able to have the time to focus on your own healing. That means you need other people to help you with the baby, cooking, watching the baby whilst you sleep, and doing your laundry.

And even if you have the world's most amazing husband, he can’t necessarily do all of that. He’s also tired, recovering from the birth himself, and going through the emotional changes—not to mention doing all of the “Daddy admin“ as the two of you prepare for this new life. 

I started a pelvic floor recovery program and 5-10 minute walks twice a day one week postpartum (doesn’t mean you have to, but that felt right for my body). My therapist gave me the green light because of how active I was before and during pregnancy. She said my body would likely crave it. And she was spot on, it absolutely has. I can only be in bed 24/7 and then in a nursing chair all day on my ass for so long. Plus, getting on the mat for 10 minutes and those short walks have been a game-changer for my mental state, especially with the sleep deprivation creeping in. 

Everyone's birth, pregnancy, and postpartum journey is unique. Short walks and a pelvic floor program right away isn’t for everyone, of course. However, I’m really trusting my intuition on this, just like some people don’t feel ready to exercise at the 6-week mark. TRUST YOUR BODY AND INTUITION instead of an arbitrary number of weeks that cannot be a one-size-fits-all.

There hasn’t been a day where I haven’t showered. No, I’m not putting makeup on every day, but that’s actually my choice because I’m sitting at home, and it just makes it easier for nighttime routines… Plus, it’s kinda nice to use this time as a breather for my skin. 

But I AM asking for all the help. I am asking to have a shower. I am asking for food when I need it. I’m asking for my water to be filled up. I’m asking for someone to watch the baby if needed so I can take 10 minutes to do my pelvic floor class. I’m asking Hal to have him for an hour so I can have me time. I am napping 1-2 times a day when the baby naps, depending on how tired I am.

And to make sure I'm very clear on this: I’m not saying my postpartum experience has been easy in every moment. 

Baby Tripp has started to get fussy sometimes, especially in those witching hours of 7-10pm, and that definitely tests my patience/breaks my heart when he is screaming at the top of his lungs. But once again, I’m reminding myself that it is so temporary. Everything right now in life is so beautifully fragile and I know that one day very soon I will really miss these moments, even if sometimes in the moment it feels really hard.

One last thing I will say to wrap this up—I’ve already noticed how motherhood is the biggest productivity hack. I literally am getting things done in a quarter of the amount of time it would take me before I had this baby. I know that it is because my brain literally is not letting itself get distracted because I know I have such a small window of time to get whatever it is done before he needs the boob or soothing. 

And in just these two weeks postpartum, the downloads that I’ve gotten for myself, for business, for life, maybe even the next book, have been mind-blowing. I knew that going through the portal of birth and into motherhood would bring a lot of downloads, but I didn’t expect such clarity with them. 

I know I’ll have plenty more to say/write about my postpartum experience, and I can’t wait to keep sharing that with you. But if you are currently pregnant and afraid of postpartum, just remember that you create your own reality and you can set yourself up for success in your fourth trimester before you get there. 

Do not just focus on your birth. Focus on setting yourself up for success in your postpartum experience, and do not underestimate how much help you might actually need. Get as many hands on deck as you can, and make sure that you carve out 15 minutes for yourself every day. And remember, these first precious days, weeks, and months with your new baby are all so temporary.

Here’s to cherishing every single fleeting moment, even when we’re being thrown up on. ;)