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Trauma
Feminine Embodiment Isn’t What You Do—It’s How You Be
Let’s clear something up once and for all: Feminine embodiment isn’t about dressing a certain way.
It’s not baking sourdough, floating around in silk dresses, pulling oracle cards, or being soft all the time. And it’s definitely not about living your entire life in “creative flow” while avoiding decisions, assertiveness, or structure.
That’s not true feminine embodiment if it's not what's truly authentic to you.
What I see all the time is women trying to tick off an arbitrary checklist of "feminine traits":
- Wear flowy clothes
- Always lead with love
- Never say no
- Let everyone else make the plans
- Follow your intuition 24/7
- Be soft, open, and nurturing at all times
And yet… they still can’t surrender. They still can’t let go of control. They still can’t relax in the presence of a powerful man.
Why? Because they’re thinking they have to do certain things to be feminine, instead of realising they need to heal their trauma, which will allow them to feel safe to be their authentic self. Then you'll naturally be in your feminine without having to try.
True feminine embodiment is when your life feels like home.
It’s not about what you’re doing. It’s about how you feel when you’re doing it.
You could be running a company, leading a team, making decisions all day… and if that lights you up—if you feel in alignment, lit from within, at home in your body...then you’re in your feminine.
That’s me.
I’m the breadwinner. I run a global company. I travel, lead a team, launch offers, make fast decisions, host events, and hit 6-figure months while managing a growing family.
And yet, I am deeply in my feminine.
Feminine embodiment is a nervous system state. A home-in-your-body frequency. A deep feeling of safety, softness, and freedome
True femininity is when you're so deeply in alignment with what your heart wants in a given season of life that you don't have to do anything to be feminine, you just are.
You can be working a 10-hour day, and if that’s lighting you up and you can soften and relax when you get home, then you're in your feminine.
But if you're working a 10-hour day without joy, and then are unable to soften or surrender when you get home? That tells me your baseline isn’t feminine energy. You’re operating from your masculine, because it gives you the illusion of safety.
You Can Be BOTH: Discerning and Soft. Fierce and Receptive. Directed and Surrendered.
Women always ask me:
"But Monica... if I love planning the holidays or taking the lead at work, does that make me masculine?"
No. If it brings you joy, it’s feminine. If you're doing it because you only feel safe when you're in control, then you're not in your feminine, you're in a trauma response and habitual pattern.
But if you’re doing it because you don’t trust him to get it right…
If you’re constantly conrolling because you’re afraid to let go…
If you’re secretly resentful that it’s all on your plate, but you don’t know how to receive…
That’s not your feminine. That’s your trauma response and dysfunctional pattern.
Feminine embodiment doesn’t mean you give up your power and assertiveness.
It means your power comes with softness and trust.
You lead when it's in alignment for you to do so (hello HER Year).
You let him lead when you want to soften.
You say no when it's a no.
You surrender with safety
You don’t outsource your power or your sense of safety.
And note: Your feminine embodiment will look different at various stages of life.
Sometimes, your feminine will look like flowing around your home, naked and radiant.
Other times, it will look like spreadsheets, launch strategy, and getting shit done, because you’re turned on by what you’re creating in your life
Sometimes, it will look like full surrender to your man.
Other times, it will look like drawing a boundary.
Feminine embodiment is a felt sense of alignment.
That’s what I live and teach.
It’s not masculine for you to put your foot down and be assertive when needed. It’s called self-respect.
If this cracked something open in you, you need to be in the MUSE Masterclass. It’s my free deep dive into feminine embodiment, magnetism, radiance, and nervous system work that actually shifts your frequency.
Because your femininity is not a checklist, and the women who do this work become magnetic.
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