Why Our Grandparents Have Been Together for 65-Odd Years
When there is a road bump in your relationship or when there is something a little bit sticky & hard that comes up, allow your default to be INTIMACY, to SOFTEN, and to devote yourself to working through the “thing.”
Our modern society teaches us that when something gets hard, just swipe left and turn away — there's something else or something better. It's this shiny object syndrome.
And I encourage us to all take a little bit of an old-fashioned twist to things.
What has made our grandparents or our friend's grandparents stay together for 65 years? What has made that work?
Well, for one, they didn't have social media. They didn't question their relationship when things got hard. They didn't label the person as “gaslighting,” or a “narcissist,” or this or that without REALLY going deep.
And it doesn't mean that those things don’t exist (because they very much do), but we need to stop just slapping a label on something and then turning the other direction the second things feel less warm & fuzzy.
Like, yeah, there is an element of “I don't put up with fucking bullshit.”
But if there are little bits of shit every once in a while, I'm sorry, but if you love the person, that isn't a reason to up & leave, in my opinion.
There are hiccup moments in my relationship. There are moments where I'm like, “Oh, this is so fucking frustrating. Why are we not seeing eye to eye on this? Why are we butting heads?”
But it is so small in comparison to the rest of the time.
Whenever those moments happen, as soon as we drop back into intimacy and we communicate, or we just pause and go, “You know what, babe? It's fucking late. Let's revisit this tomorrow with a clear head.”
As soon as we do that, the problem is over, and we are always coming back to love because we really both have this mindset of not giving up. We are in this relationship for the long haul. We are not doing what other people are doing these days when things get rough and just saying, “fuck it,” and leaving.
We are making sure from the get-go our needs, our desires, and our values are being met and are being expressed. We do not like shoving things under the carpet. We do not allow resentment to build. We are not available for any of those things because we know that is what causes people to cheat, people to stray, and people to leave.
We see each other. We are intimate with each other. We are present with each other.
And that is what is important.
Because if you are those things with your partner, they're not going to feel like they're not seen, they're not valued, or they're not wanted. Because if there is a norm to be communicating in that way in the relationship, to be seen like that, and to be deep like that, you would never sweep that shit under the rug. It would be so blatantly obvious because you guys are that fcking connected.
But when the two of you are disconnected, that's why these things go unnoticed — because you're connected to your phone more than you're connected to that other person.
If you want to foster a deeper connection with your partner, it is entirely possible — it just takes effort and commitment. You both deserve to feel fulfilled, at ease, and safe in your love for one another.
I've created a FREE Masterclass that will help you reignite the polarity in your relationship, so you can fully embrace softening in your feminine and being his lover, and he can rise in his masculine and be the man you both need him to be.
Let's have love stories that span decades.