Entitlement, Personal Growth, and the Myth of “No Man Is Enough”

Q: I’ve noticed this growing trend among successful women—especially in personal development—where they feel like no man can keep up. Can you expand on what you’re seeing?

A (Monica):
I’m seeing this kind of entitlement in successful women who say, “No man is enough for me.” Their expectations are so high that I’m like, “Go be in a relationship with another successful woman if that’s what you want!” Because they say they want a man, yet they don’t recognize the vast differences in communication styles, brain wiring, and emotional processing between men and women.

So, there’s this vibe of, “I’m so good, I’m so successful, I’m so emotionally aware, so he’s not good enough.” And it’s not even giving men the opportunity to develop or catch up. Women have never been in this position of making so much money and claiming so much for ourselves, and yes, we’re on a journey of raising our standards. But men are on a journey too. If you constantly emasculate him or act like no man is good enough, you can’t complain when you’re single and miserable because nobody meets your robotic level of perfection.

Honestly, sometimes I see women’s checklists for a partner and it’s like, “So you basically want a robot, not a human.” We’re all imperfect. I don’t care how successful or developed we are, there are plenty of things about us that probably annoy our partners too.

Q: You mentioned women sometimes make men wrong for not progressing at the same pace in personal growth. How can we avoid this trap?

A (Monica):
This happens a lot. Women say, “I’ve done all this personal development, and he’s happy just doing what we did five years ago.” They make him wrong for that. But here’s the thing: if you start feeling like you’re better than him because you’ve done the work, you’ve just become egotistical—the opposite of what personal development is about. True personal growth leads to unconditional love, yet we end up loving our partners only on the condition they meet X, Y, and Z.

We also have to recognize how conditional love often comes from childhood. Maybe you felt like you got more love when you got straight A’s or followed the rules. Then you start doing that in your adult relationships. If you only conditionally love yourself, you’re going to conditionally love your partner too. And when we feel he’s not “rising” fast enough, we withhold love, which just causes more resentment and pulls us further apart.

Q: So how do we actually inspire men to grow without emasculating them?

A (Monica):
Don’t emasculate him, period. Shaming or criticizing a man doesn’t make him level up faster; it usually makes him shut down. With women, if you shame us, we might jump into people-pleasing mode to fit in. Men don’t have that same biological drive for community acceptance. Shaming a man typically makes him withdraw, not grow.

If you genuinely want him to rise, approach it from a place of unconditional love and encouragement. If you keep making him feel inadequate, he’ll just shrink back further. That’s the total opposite of what you’re trying to achieve.

Q: Is there ever a point where the misalignment is real and it’s time to walk away?

A (Monica):
Yes. If your values aren’t aligned and you want completely different lives, then no amount of personal growth is going to fix that. If you discover you were one person at the start of the relationship and now you’ve truly changed your core values, it might be time for a tough conversation.

But that’s different from demanding perfection or expecting him to grow on your exact timeline. There’s a big difference between “We have opposing visions for our future” and “He’s not spiritual enough, or reading the same books as me.”

Q: You mentioned you’re a Generator and your husband is a Reflector in Human Design. How has that impacted your dynamic?

A (Monica):
We’re literally complete opposites, which at first was so frustrating. As a Generator, I can just go, go, go. My husband’s a Reflector, which is about 1% of the population, so talk about rare. Early on, I realized I was expecting him to work at my pace—super unfair. He wouldn’t be as productive if he tried to mimic my style, and he’d be miserable.

So, I had to unconditionally love his Reflector energy, which meant giving him space when he needs breaks. In return, he’s way more effective in his next hour of work. If I’d insisted on him being a mini-me, it would’ve caused massive resentment. So yeah, unconditional love and acceptance of our differences is huge.

Q: Any final advice for women struggling with feeling “too advanced” for their partners?

A (Monica):
Check if you’re conditionally loving yourself, because that’s usually why you’re doing it to him. Remember, personal development is about love, acceptance, and compassion—not perfection. And ironically, when we embody unconditional love, we create a safe space where our partners often do rise. But they rise on their timeline, not ours.

At the end of the day, if you genuinely want a fulfilling partnership, ask yourself, “Am I operating from unconditional love, or am I stuck in my ego?” That honest reflection can change everything.