The Female Breadwinner Bitterness

I was recently reading an Instagram post in which someone shared how friends and strangers will make bizarre comments about her being the female breadwinner.

"What does your husband think of this?"

When seeing your house, someone says, "What does your husband do for a living?"

"Good thing he's a good-looking man."

And whilst yes, some of these comments might come off as a bit naive, what many women who are female breadwinners are failing to recognise is that everyone is new to this dynamic. Someone isn't trying to be rude or mean by asking, 'What does your husband do for a living?' when they see your house. It's just that in all of history, most of the time, the man has been the one making most of the money.

So instead of being bitter and insecure about it (as that's your stuff you then need to work on about being the breadwinner), you need to just reply politely with, "Actually, it's me who makes most of the money, and I do XYZ."

You also need to be careful in not completely emasculating your husband in claiming that you're the one that's gotten the house, pays for all the holidays, and affords the two of you this lifestyle. Men are struggling with this dynamic just as much as women are. We still want them to feel valued and realise how much they bring to the table.

So remember, whilst you make most or half of the money, he provides in other ways, as do you.

We need to re-value cooking, cleaning, looking after kids, tending to the garden, planning family holidays, organising finances, and not thinking that the only way to provide value is through money.

Would you have been able to make this money if it wasn't for his support and how he's helped you emotionally, mentally, and physically during your busy seasons?

Would you want to be making the money, owning this big house, if you lived in it alone?

There is a lot of pre-programming we all have to do.

And it starts with you not being bitter when someone assumes your husband makes most of the money. If you're looking for constant validation in being the female breadwinner, then I'm warning you some issues may be creeping up soon.