192: Breakdown of the Netflix show YOU (part 2) | Blackout rage is a real thing
Welcome to part two of the YOU series
(...so if you haven’t listened to part one obviously make sure you do first!)
In this episode I cover:
Blackout rage attacks
Sociopaths, psychopaths and narcissists
The importance of keeping things spicy in a long term relationship
Let's get into it...
Blackout rage attacks are a real thing. This is what happened when Joe punched that guy off the cliff. It is very common for you to go through something traumatising and feel like you had no control over it. Actually, you had control, but you were blissfully unaware of your problems. Then you get to a point where you don’t have any control and have a rage blackout attack (which is a reaction from your body because your body feels threatened). We think Joe is a psycho but to him and his character, he was acting in a way that was protecting his body.
We are animals, which means we are aggressive by nature. Obviously as conscious humans we don’t need to use aggression to protect ourselves, draw a boundary etc, but when you’ve left something for so long the body thinks the only way is to react with aggression. When your nervous system no longer gets triggered by past events and you’ve healed them, you have full control and you don’t get revved up, if at all. To me, that is power. To me, that is freedom.
When Love said ‘our love language is violence’, I was like bingo. Love is a combination of hormones. A lot of these hormones release are what makes you feel love for someone. You need to remember that when we get excited, that is a massive release of adrenaline which is addictive. When you have a huge release of adrenaline from a traumatic situation, and you share that experience with someone, all of these adrenaline makes you feel excited as hell and horny. So when Love said ‘our love language is violence’ it’s true because a lot of their relationship is tied to adrenaline. The bottom line is neither of them have control over their emotions or are aware of their brain and their body.
When people have abandonment wounds, it will also come out in them abandoning themselves. An example of this is not having any personal boundaries and saying yes to things you don’t want to do. Joe has absolutely no personal boundaries which means he also gets talked into a lot of situations by Love. Equally, Joe also has this need to kill men that are threatening his relationships with women. He’s never felt like he’s had control or felt seen in his relationships, so he kills anyone that sabotages his ability to be seen by the women he loves.
It’s great that they talked about swinging as a way to keep things spicy. I’m loving how a lot of TV shows have been illustrating the not to pretty and perfect side of relationships, postpartum and fatherhood, and how yes you do need to spice things up in the bedroom sometimes to keep a long term relationship alive, healthy and sexy. The more you talk about sex and be open, the better your relationship is going to be.
If you want to heal your trauma so you’re no longer triggered by your past, be The Man you want to be, or be the best partner to your man (or future man) make sure you check out:
Lastly, a reminder to put the 16th November in your calendar because we’re releasing early bird tickets to our 3 day NYC Immersion so GET EXCITED and GET IT IN YOUR DIARY.