177: Sex Life (Part 2) | Clit stimulation, the shower scene (IYKYK) & addiction vs feeling safe

You guys loved the first episode! If you haven't listened to part 1...

LISTEN TO EPISODE 176 NOW

Otherwise, let's jump into part 2 which is ALL about episode 3 &4.

LISTEN TO EPISODE 177

The passive-aggressive-ness and silence punishment from Cooper is NOT a vibe. You know when he's taking a shower in the morning, and Billie jumps in too being all flirty? He rejects her in the shower (which is honestly kind of understandable) but at the same time, the more they don't talk about the root of what is happening, the worse it gets. And the root isn't 'why are you fantasising about your ex?', it's something so much deeper than that. And Cooper is being really triggered by it. Not just because he's jealous about the ex, it's this feeling of 'I'm not providing for her enough, I'm not pleasing her, I'm not giving her what she wants in the bedroom'. And remember, men are all about that outward energy of 'I want to please her, I want to be enough for her, I want to provide for her'. So of course, he is now is feeling like he hasn't been a good enough man for her.

The other thing that was really apparent is that she really needs more postpartum support (and more mums do, full stop). I see this all the time in my clients. They feel really feeling exhausted, like they've lost a part of themselves and there's never any time for that sexual play. And this isn't about having some P in V, let's have sex for 20 minutes before we go to bed. This is about sexual play. This is about waking up the next morning with hickies all over you. And we all know that type of sex. That type of sex is so NOURISHING to every inch of your being. That is what she is missing and she is missing that support where she can feel like she's still allowed to unleash that side of herself. And remember, she was so tapped out and her nervous system was so exhausted when she met Cooper, that he never really saw this side of herself. And I wouldn't say it's a shadow side of herself, it's a part of her. Any mums listening to this, or mums-to-be, please consider the price you'll pay if you don't have that postpartum support. I want to remind you of the chicken nugget I previously shared with you... "sometimes not investing in yourself is more expensive than investing in yourself".

Now we're jumping to the elevator scene where Billie & Brad go to meet his mum. First of all, can we just say that the elevator scene is so fucking hot. There's nothing sexier than making out or having sex in an elevator. The elevator to be is prime fucking real estate. Unfortunately for me there's a security camera in mine which gets heavily watched, lol. What I did love in this scene (and a lot of the scenes with Brad) is that there's such a focus on her pleasure. And I also love the focus on clit pleasure. So many movies and tv shows make you think that women just have orgasms from P in V. Statistically 70% of women both need clit stimulation and internal stimulation to have an internal stimulation.

Let's jump to the shower scene (when Cooper stalks Brad to the gym). Firstly, FUCK, his cock, omg. Surely as a dude (dudes, weigh in) you could not be walking around, living your life with a cock that big LOL. I feel like there at least had to be some of it that was fake or photoshopped.

I was very happy when Billie admitted that the drama with Brad was addicting. People are addicted to so many things, and they know it, but they don't want to change. Because their addiction gives them a label, it allows them to feel like 'oh this is my problem, and because I can put a label on it, it's ok'. And this is so prevalent in business, in relationships, in self-sabotage, people do it all the time. So, what are you addicted to, and that you don't want to break that addiction?

Topics I've loved being highlighted in Sex Life

1) The postpartum struggle

2) Kinky sex: most people want it and don't announce it

3) Your childhood does affect your relationship

4) The struggles that people can have when their not having their needs met and the struggles that men have when they feel their masculinity being threatened

Chicken nuggets:

If you are dating anyone that gives you a push/pull, you will get addicted to it. You need to run as fast as you fucking can, as soon as you get a hint of this push/pull, because it's not easy to leave these relationships once you've been sucked in.

Sometimes not investing in yourself is more expensive than investing in yourself.