Relationships
Why Boundaries Create Safety to be Submissive
Before going deeper into this... let's first talk about what I mean by boundaries.
Because I KNOW this word can be triggering for some (triggers are your doorway to growth, FYI, so be an adult in the comments ;)), so let me explain what I mean.
Firstly, here is what I DON'T mean
🔥 Be a doormat
🔥 Never speak up
🔥 Let him just do whatever he wants
🔥 You get no say
Now... this is what I DO mean:
AND most importantly...when an empowered woman is choosing to be in her feminine, submissive to her man, and let go... it's because she WANTS TO.
It's because it's hot for her. It feels relieving to release some of the mental load. It's what I call "Empoweredly Submissive." Where you are empowered in your CHOICE to be submissive.
This also means that you can still:
💦 Say no
💦 Put your foot down
💦 Make decisions
💦 Speak up
💦 Fight back
💦 Not do what he wants to do
DUHHHH.
I'm not telling you to be some suppressed woman. I have literally devoted my life to helping you be the opposite.
So now that we have that out of the way...
You will never feel safe letting go of a man, receiving from him, surrendering to his lead, or releasing the tight grips of your own control unless you create an inherent sense of safety.
You've probably seen mean women in comment threads when women share that they don't want to work a job or they love being a mum and relying on their husbands. Those women are projecting their deep feelings of Unsafety onto someone else to make them feel safer about their own choices.
Many of us rely on others to make us feel safe. But when we continue to do that, we outsource our sense of safety to someone else, and now we're reliant on them once again.
Instead... when you feel inherently safe in your own body as a woman, you create your OWN power. Your OWN safety and your OWN self-regulation. Then, when someone else is making you feel safe, it's a cherry on top moment — not the whole damn cupcake.
One of the #1 ways to cultivate a deep sense of safety (so that you can be in your feminine and let him lead you) is to be able to have boundaries.
"Having boundaries" doesn't just mean knowing them; it means following through with them.
It means you know you can speak up for yourself. You know you won't ever allow someone to walk all over you. You couldn't possibly get manipulated. You are not a victim. You do know how to say "no."
Knowing that you can and will have your own back means that you are able to self-regulate. You can stay grounded in your own body. You won't abandon yourself.
From this place, it's so easy to let him lead, trust him, open to him, and submit to him. It's HOT. It becomes playful and enticing—all because you are doing it from a place of desire backed by self-security.
There's no sexier, better, or more rewarding feeling than that.
In order to be able to fall into your submissive and be 'empowerdly submissive' (and even knowing your boundaries) you have to first do the work to heal. And healing can mean trauma that you know or don't even realise you have.
My program, Queen Alchemy, is NOW open, and its the perfect way to heal and lead you to that empowerdly submissiveness 😉