The Dynamics of Getting Your Man to Lead You
When it comes to your relationship, there’s you, there’s him, and then there’s the relationship. All of these things need adequate time, energy, and resources put towards them. You are an important part, he is an important part, and the relationship itself is also an important part.
And those 3 components need to be in balance, with your feminine and masculine energies working in harmony to support one another.
That’s why it’s SO important for you as a woman to put effort into learning how to switch between masculine and feminine energies. Just like a steamy tango, a man isn't going to lead you if you cannot let him.
Relationships require effort, we all know that. But I’m not talking about an equal chore split and who’s getting up early to walk the dog. These are the efforts you need to be making:
- letting him lead
- being in your feminine
- creating the energetic, emotional, and physical space for his masculinity to come in
When these efforts aren’t present, there isn't the room energetically for him to step into the leadership role that you want and need.
Here’s how you create that space: having your own clear and defined boundaries.
You don't ever want to lose yourself in a partner. When you start to lose yourself in a relationship, it can often show up as edginess, resentment, and bitterness — basically creating a masculine armor for yourself. And when he feels that armor, that edginess, and that bitterness, it does not make him want to lead you more.
If you're trying to re-polarize the relationship, he could very well go into that boy archetype because he's afraid that he's doing something wrong. And then you are the one that has to fix it, which is the opposite of your goal.
When you allow a lack of boundaries within yourself, it bleeds into the relationship with him. When you let a lack of self-discipline, self-respect, and self-worth flood past your boundaries, you create a lack of space for his masculine to exist. A lack of boundaries within yourself smothers that masculine energy, inhibiting him from stepping up and being able to lead you.
Your man needs to feel needed. He needs to feel wanted. There are so many components to making a man feel like a man. And if you're not allowing him or supporting him in obtaining, feeling, and embodying those things… then how can he lead you?
And I’ll end by saying this: don't shove personal development, or any of this kind of work down someone else's throat. Just be the muse. Be the inspiration. Be the light.
By you being the example, by you being the inspiration, that can then magnetize and pull him into showing up at the same level as you.
If you want to get even deeper into this topic, listen to episode 308: The Energetics of Getting Your Man to Lead You | The Bitter B*tch, Dangerous Femininity, & Getting Radically Honest in Your Relationship. It’s a juicy, juicy episode and I know you’re gonna LOVE it.
If you would like further guidance, my program Be a Lover, Not a Mother is your guide to stop emasculating men and letting them lead.