How Modern Society Created "The Lazy Boy" and Thus "The Bitter Bitch"
This one might ruffle some feathers (of those that get triggered because it's true) and validate many women. Why are there so many men these days that don't want to lead?
They don't make plans.
They don't have integrity.
They don't pay for the dates.
They don't open the car door.
They don't protect you physically, mentally, or emotionally.
They aren't chasing you.
They don't woo you even once you're in the committed relationship.
They prefer for you to lead. Make the decisions. Plan the holidays. Pick the date.
Like WOAH, WOAH, WOAH. Back the fuck up.
Women are not here to do it all for you. WE are not your mothers. We are not raising children and leading you, having a job and keeping a social life.
So why the fuck are we in this predicament? How did we go from a society where the men did all the physical labor and bringing home the bread, to now women doing most of the heavy lifting? (Whether it's her perception or the truth, we need to talk about it.)
It's something I like to call "the lazy boy", otherwise known as the "soft boi" — yes, spelled b.o.i. (that in and of itself is truly concerning LOL).
Nonetheless, what's happened is after a wave of women taking back control, getting in the driver's seat, and showing men just what we're made of... we haven't quite let go. Women having jobs then became women not letting men court them.
To women offering to pay on the date as if they need to prove their empowerment (if you're secure you don't need to prove shit).
To women choosing the date (or not even choosing, but organizing).
To women mothering their lovers.
For a period of time, women were doing it because they finally COULD! They were exerting their new power like an 18-year-old getting their hands on alcohol for the first time... the edges are being PUSHED to say the least.
But after years of women exerting their power, it's meant that men:
1) Have no real purpose in society anymore because "women can do it all".
2) Men don't have to lead anymore — women have stepped on their toes enough, where he's like "alright fine I'll step back and you can choose".
The unfortunate thing is now so many women are realizing they're MISERABLE. They want him to take the lead. They're sick of it being "all on them."
And it's whiplash for men.
But when a woman isn't being led by him and she wants to be... she turned into the "bitter bitch."
The "Bitter Bitch" is most women these days: they're resentful, frustrated, and tense because men aren't courting them, chasing them, and providing for them. They're having to look after themselves and this 'man child.'
Of course, men biologically are wired to lead, but when you squash someone enough and a whole generation is being sold the story of this BS 'new masculinity'... you're going to end up with women that are tense hormonal bitches because our nervous systems and adrenals are not made for this much pressure, stress, and responsibility to be all on our shoulders.
Sure, she can have a job, relationship, social life, and squeeze a family in there ... but if you're also expecting her to do the house bills, choose the dates, plan the family holidays, tuck the kids in every night, call the plumber... you're going to have a HOT FKN MESS and it will not be sexy.
It's a woman that's resenting her partner for "not doing enough."
So it's not HIS fault per se. But it's vital that we as a society re-align what's truly important and in alignment for us.
You don't need to show off your empowerment by doing it all ladies. And men, you do need to put your foot down to her and ensure she lets you lead. Don't be a pushover. Don't allow her to control everything. When you let a woman control everything, you give up your power and your place as a man. If she won't make space for you, then she's not the right woman for you.
And ladies, if you want him to lead... STOP doing everything. Stop putting it all on you. Ask for help, let there be space for him to lead, and ask him to lead. And don't tolerate a man that won't.
Don't feed the wave of bitter bitches and lazy boys. You're better than that.
If this message of the "lazy boy" and "bitter bitch" speaks to you, you'll want to check out these programs: