Rest Isn't Something Moms Have to Earn

Our son was sick the other week and not sleeping well, so this is how I still fit in all of my regular routines and to-do's… 

I didn't.

Nothing shows you that you’ve healed your trauma and nervous system dysregulation, and are now walking your talk like a week of no nanny, a super sick baby, in-person podcasts at our house, that 1-year-old object permanence they're going through (IYKYK), and launching your new signature container that you've been working on for the past 6 months.

Mums, your routines, systems, and practices defeat the purpose if sticking to them actually brings you more stress.

It's also where your ability to ask for help, have systems that run without you having to do anything, and feel safe to release control are essential.

I chose to let my team do all the backend for the launch of my new container, trusted their decision-making, etc., and I trusted myself in the marketing, even if it was last-minute and not planned out well in advance. (In fact, this blog was written on my phone with him asleep on me literally today.)

It was about 10:30 am, and I'd woken up from a nap (yes, rest no longer makes me feel guilty like it did 11 years ago when I was deep in productivity as a trauma response).

My husband came up because I texted him saying how much I struggle with Tripp's sleep not being good.

He reminded me that when Tripp's going through a moment, I get to as well.

When he's going through something challenging, I am too. Hello, I'm his mother!! I'm breastfeeding on demand still, the default parent, and deeply in tune with his needs.

It was such a lovely reminder that this season could last two weeks, but also a reminder that it's not just HIM being challenged; it's me too. So my needs change as well.

FLEXIBILITY is one of the ways embodiment from healing shows up.

You aren't worried that if you chill out with your nighttime routine, you'll go off the rails and never come back.

So guess what… I reminded myself that I could ditch a few things each day in order to get my MOST important need, which gives me the biggest flow-on effect for feeling good, and that is SLEEP.

So tonight, I'll have an 8:30pm bedtime (that's the intention, but lately it's 9/9:30 by the time I'm asleep, as Tripp is needing so much support right now).

This allows me to feel less stressed, not more, BECAUSE I trust myself. The flexibility IS the embodiment of doing the healing work, having self-trust and self-respect.

Want to feel like you, too, can have this flexibility during testing weeks, whether you're a mother or a super busy woman?

If you're the woman running the business, the household, the childcare logistics, and the launch, and a week like the one above would take you out for a month, that's not a scheduling problem, and it's definitely not a discipline problem. It's what happens when everything you've built is being held up by a nervous system that's been in survival mode for years, and the routines become one more thing you can't afford to drop.

Soft & Ambitious is my 9-month container for highly ambitious, busy women (a lot of them mothers!) who are done achieving from empty. We heal the trauma sitting underneath the control, so your capacity expands and the week where nothing goes to plan stops costing you everything you have.