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Trauma

How my body finally "let go" of the weight post-ski accident

How my body finally "let go" of the weight post-ski accident

Firstly, for those who don't know, I had a catastrophic ski accident at the end of 2017.

 

The drugs, stress, mental burden, and three subsequent surgeries, combined with lockdowns and god knows what else, meant that my body took years to get back to the place I was before my ski accident. And whilst some may think that gaining a little bit of weight isn't worth a blog post, I think it is.

 

Many people experience the desire to lose weight, yet feel ashamed to talk about it. This is because weight loss is often perceived as contradicting the principles of body positivity and self-love.

 

And I'm not trying to "get back to this weight" because women experience a second "puberty" around the age of 24, and it's just not worth putting yourself through a mental battle of trying to fit into old clothes. Like what are you trying to prove?!

I love and appreciate my body, I love being a woman, and my ski accident gave me so much appreciation for just being able to walk to the kitchen.

 

But a heavy load of drugs and a lot of stress caused my body to take years to recover. Lockdowns didn't exactly speed that up either, as I was on the other side of the world from my friends and family, stuck in the worst lockdowns in London.

 

While consciously I was fine, happy, and mentally stable after my ski accident (well, my physical therapist would disagree with the amount of tears he endured during gym training LOL), my nervous system was not. I experienced "phantom pain," and the nerve damage down my leg was so bad that even if someone just nearly touched my leg by accident, my nervous system would go into a state of complete panic, and I'd freak out.

 

People couldn't understand because they'd say, "Monica, I didn't touch your leg," but the panic of them nearly touching my leg would set my nervous system off on a fkn rollercoaster. I could literally feel this fire going up my spine, and I would need a nap after.

 

Additionally, after my accident, I lost my period again during recovery for a few months (it was a blessing too because having someone else change your tampon would probably have tipped my dehumanizing experience into more than I could bear), and this was the second time I lost it (the first time was coming off the pill).

 

When I got it back, it was like my body was so afraid of losing it again that it held ONTO weight as a way of protecting itself. Additionally, the stress of lockdowns, rehab and learning how to walk again means that to was only until I developed deep trust with my cycle and body again that my body started to "let go" of weight.

 

All the frustration, lockdown, mental battle and surgeries, ironically made me create this protective barrier around myself to 'protect' my body from being that hurt again. 

 

Now my body feels safe to let go. It doesn't need to protect itself, and it knows it can relax...and I'm at MY body's healthy. I don't have to 'keep it up' or 'maintain it.' It just IS.

 

Throughout this journey, I've been as healthy as I can be at every moment because healing doesn't happen over night. You cannot just 'bounce back' in a state of months when you're creating SUSTAINABLE CHANGE.

 

Healing the ROOT (when the root isn't about a nutritional deficiency or physical misalignment) of gut issues, weight gain, skin problems, hair loss, back pain etc can take years because it's not about supplements, pills, exercise or anything like that anymore ... it's about the energetic and emotional components that are lodged into your body.

 

So when clients come to me, and they've been really trying to lose weight, but it's just not budging, it's often because their body deep down doesn't feel safe to let go or let something go. Essentially, they are keeping this protective layer around them because of possible:

  • Fears of being seen
  • Fears of judgment from others
  • Fears of thinking losing weight isn't "self-love," and they'll be looked down upon
  • Fear of changing their identity
  • Fear of not being able to use their weight as an excuse anymore

 

 

If any of this resonates, my GUT Healing Masterclass is going to be such a supportive option for you. Couple that with Queen Alchemy and/or my Immersion, and you're going to be getting the glow-up that you're craving.

Also, I have a two great podcasts on this topic: