Female Breadwinners and Cheating: The Truth Behind the Statistics

Is it a truth or a lie that breadwinners are more likely to be cheated on?

Did you have to do a double-take on that question? You wouldn't be the only one. 

What if I told you that when women become the breadwinners, they are more likely to be cheated on... Would that make you want to make more money? If the answer is no… We have work to do. 

That response right there is a mental block that stops women from allowing themselves to become more successful, because they feel that it will result in them being left heartbroken.

So either they don't get into a relationship, OR they're only dating men who are making more money than they are. The reality is that it's often a very small proportion of the population of men, especially if you are making high six and into seven figures. Plus, when you look at the rest of your "must-have" list—must be 6 feet tall, have brown hair, live in x city, love dogs, want kids, 4-10 years older than me—you feel like there are 3 men left who are single and available. BUTTT they also have to like you. 

So basically, it just feels like there's no hope LOL. 

I don't buy it. Stick with me here.

(Psst... craving more raw truth on being the female breadwinner? Check out this juicy podcast episode about all things relationships, being the breadwinner, femininity, and the edgy topic of where this all fits in today’s modern world. ↓)

The research shows that when women become the breadwinners, they are more likely to be cheated on.

A 2019 study published in the Personality and Social Psychology Bulletin, which included over 6,000 American heterosexual couples over 15 years, found that many men experienced “psychological distress” if their wives made more than 40% of the household income in a marriage.

The reason is that men can feel like this threatens their manhood, and then they engage in hyper-masculine behaviours that they think will help them feel like a man again (so they cheat).

The answer is NOT to make less money. You can be sure I won't suggest that. 

But it is to ensure that you're not using money as a source of control, and that you also see the value that your man provides in the relationship, where, without him, you'd be worse off. 

My concern with these statistics is that they support the cultural narrative that "successful women are too much," and they're "intimidating to men."  Which is such a load of BS, because a masculine man isn't intimidated by a woman's success. To be honest, that's not why he's in a relationship with her.

He wants your softness, warmth, care, and emotions. He wants what he cannot get from his masculine self or from his friends. The same way we want the direction, protection, provision, assertiveness, and control (in a healthy way) from a man that we can't get from ourselves or from our girlfriends. 

But if you are giving that to yourself, instead of receiving it from him... I know that you're exhausted by it, and your nervous system is absolutely fried. I know that it would feel so good for somebody else to be holding down the fort, controlling things, and protecting things. I know that after a long workday, you want to just soften, let go, and crumble into his arms.

You must understand these core things: 

• The role money plays in the feminine/masculine dynamics in your relationship
• Healing your relationship with money
• Finding other ways both of you feel like he's providing, that's not about money (a lot of us think that money is masculine and the only way to provide)
• Ensuring that you ACTUALLY feel provided for and protected so that you don't feel like you are the provider, protector, lover, nurturer, mother, cook, cleaner, etc
• Healing any resentment and ensuring you've spoken about or done what's required to ensure no NEW resentment starts to creep in
• Are you actually okay being the woman making most of the money or not?
• Dropping into your feminine after a work day and letting your man lead you
• Making sure you are NOT EMASCULATING HIM! And knowing how to communicate with a man (you're not talking to your girlfriend, his brain is wired completely differently from yours) 

My ask of you is this: Don't wait until resentment bubbles up and you become the wicked witch of the West. 

Waiting until things are "bad" only reinforces the belief that you have to struggle before you grow—not the vibe.

Whether you're a woman making money or the breadwinner, every couple needs The Feminine Female Breadwinner. This program was made for both men AND women to watch and be involved in. So invite your man. And together, learn how completely differently your brains are wired.

I know you want to soften into his arms, while still making more money than him. It's more than possible. Trust me.