How I Manage the Mental Load as a Busy Mum and Female Breadwinner (My Motherhood Systems)

MOTHERS ARE LEADERS TOO and deserve to be able to embody feminine leadership so it doesn't cause burnout. Do you agree?

Think about it: When you're running a household, managing school pick-up and drop-off, cooking dinner every night, keeping the house tidy, trying to have a s3x life, and maybe even having a career on top of it all... You are definitely leading.

And yet, many people completely disregard the fact that being a mother isn't a leadership position because it's not a "job." 

But that doesn’t take into account...

🍓 Mothers experience overwhelm, burnout, and a huge mental load

🍓 Mothers juggle balancing their work (being a mum) with also being a lover

🍓 The giant to-do list mums have daily that they're trying to get through whilst also maintaining their health, manifestation practices, and self-care

So next time you think that being a mum (whether it's now or in the future) doesn't fit into "feminine leadership," remember:

Masculine structure, systems, and containers allow your nervous system to feel safe to relax into the feminine. If you don't have systems and structure, you will go into your hyper masculine as a way to feel safety and security.

So here are just some of my systems as the default parent and female breadwinner!

Meal planning and using my HER cooking method

I never open the fridge at 5 pm and think, "What the f*** am I making for dinner?"

Our nanny never has to wonder what to feed Tripp for lunch.

SOP's for everyone

Myself, our nanny, our housekeeper, etc.

No, "Did I mention this?" or me asking her to do the same thing each week, and no keeping that mental tab open of changing Tripp's bedsheets or buying more diapers.

Our entire home runs through my "Life Planner" System

I made it for us 2 years ago (pre-baby) in Notion

Pantry inventory, stock of cleaning products, travel plans, Tripp's clothing inventory (so I'm not overbuying or trying to sneak into his room when he's asleep at night to see what he needs. Yes, I'm obsessed with shopping for him).

My brain is NOT the filing cabinet for our house or keeping tabs on us being low on pasta sauce. What a waste of energy.

Transition switching

I am conscious about switching from CEO mode to mum mode each day and about carving out the time to do so, so that I'm fully present with him come 5 pm.

Lists In Obvious Places

The fridge is my brain-dumping place with strategy, of course. I use liquid chalk pens (we have a sub-zero fridge, so you can write on it) to write down things I don't want to forget or urgent tasks.

I write down Tripp's wake time, for example, along with other miscellaneous things I need our nanny to do that day, so we're not spending unnecessary time repeating ourselves.

Any other support people (handyman, housekeeper, cleaner) will also see their name with anything random that I need them to do.

The Window Stack

I have plans for what I’m doing on the weekends, whether Tripp is awake/asleep (including resting and watching TV in the middle of the day when he's asleep), so I'm not stuck in decision paralysis or trying to think on the spot.

The Sunday Lock-In

Hal and I align for the week on what our schedules look like, what we need from each other, my workouts and our meals, and that groceries are ordered for Thursday drop-off. I don’t wait to be overwhelmed before taking action.

The stress and exhaustion don't come from having a baby and a career. It comes from having unnecessary tabs open in your mind and making micro-decisions 100 times a day when you don't need to.

If you're inside HER Year, you have these systems (The MotHERhood Upgrade has the mum-focused ones).

Even though we're nearly halfway through HER Year, it's not too late to join. When you do join, you'll get instant access to the six masterclasses from the first half of this year, private podcast episodes to plug into what you need, and access to the upcoming live calls for the rest of 2026.

The kind of woman that you are doesn't tell herself, "I'll wait until the next round starts," because she doesn't want to spend another 6+ months in deep exhaustion. And HER Year is MADE for busy mums like you and me. It's designed to buy back your time.