3 Ways Trauma Blocks You from Feeling Safe in Your Feminine (and How to Start Healing)

For years, I thought I was doing everything right to feel safe in my feminine. I journaled. I rewrote my beliefs. I did the embodiment practices. But something still felt off.

I was doing all the “right” things, and still couldn’t access the softness, surrender, or pleasure I knew I was meant for.

I was dissociating in every form, felt rage and distrust towards men (like, full-body fury), was constantly reacting and projecting, and felt unsafe in my body after years of being totally disconnected from it. No matter how hard I tried, I couldn’t soften. I couldn’t let go. I couldn’t feel safe enough to just be.

Eventually, I realized this vital truth: You can’t embody what your body doesn’t feel safe to hold.

We glamorize “feminine energy” like it’s a vibe you can tap into with a playlist and some flowy movement. But the real feminine—the deep, magnetic, vulnerable, fully expressed part of you—can only emerge when the nervous system is regulated and the survival patterns have been healed.

(Craving a deeper dive into what it actually takes to embody your feminine energy? Check out my video here!) ↓

Ok, now let’s break down three of the most common trauma responses I see in women that block their connection to their feminine, and where the healing begins.

1. The Fawn Response

When you have learned to survive by being quiet, not expressing your needs, never asking for too much, and always "keeping the peace," you've learned that you are not safe and loved if you speak up. You learned that you can avoid conflict by appeasing others.

In response, you:

• Over-give
• Over-explain
• Twist yourself into a pretzel to avoid rejection or discomfort... and then wonder why you feel so resentful.

The problem for your feminine? She feels unsafe to express her vulnerabilities, emotions, and needs because of the fear of love being revoked. She shuts herself down and numbs out, so she loses connection with her body.

2. Unsafety and Distrust Around Men

When you've grown up not getting your needs met by your dad or feeling like you were never enough for him, it brews into your body and manifests as not fully being able to relax around men. Your nervous system doesn't recognize them as being able to hold your feminine emotions and needs.

Let's face it: most of us didn't get our needs met by our dads the way we wanted. He may have tried, but because it's a male brain and a female brain, that was already working against the two of you.

The problem for your feminine? The feminine can only exist when she feels the safety of the masculine. So when she doesn't feel safe from the masculine, she'll go into her hyper-independence as a coping mechanism and completely shut off from her femininity and desires.

3. The Fight/Flight Response

When you are in a constant state of fight or flight, you won't even notice because it becomes your new normal. This 'normal' means that everything feels urgent. We are reactive—we are a slave to our immediate emotions and cannot regulate ourselves—and we are often stuck in overthinking and analyzing.

The problem for your feminine? The feminine loves to be in a state of flow, slowness, and warmth. Fight or flight is hard, fast, and sucks away all true creativity and flow. It immediately puts her into her masculine and inhibits receivership, softness, and surrender.

These trauma responses aren’t flaws. They were ways your body learned to keep you safe. But if you don’t do the deeper work to heal them, they’ll become the very patterns that keep repelling the love, money, intimacy, and success that you say you want.

Too many women are trying to self-soothe their trauma with self-care routines and mindset work. But the nervous system doesn’t heal through logic. It heals through somatic release—by feeling, expressing, and moving the emotions your body never got to process.

Imagine finally somatically healing this trauma at the root and experiencing this:

• Your nervous system is so regulated, you remain calm, grounded, and embodied even in the moments that used to send you spiraling.
• You're no longer numb or disconnected. You feel ecstasy in the small things, overflow in your bank account, and complete safety being fully seen in your life.
• Your body feels like home again. Your digestion is smooth, your face is de-puffed, and you feel sexy when you catch yourself in the mirror.
• You're no longer addicted to stress or chaos just to feel 'alive.' The pressure is gone. The proving is gone. You finally feel free to live, love, and lead on your own terms.
• Your man cherishes you, claims you, and rises to meet you because your energy is no longer mothering, managing, or closed off. It's magnetic, open, and irresistibly feminine.

If you’re ready to finally feel safe in your body, regulated in your nervous system, and fully in your feminine power, The Immersion is for you. This is a live, in-person trauma healing experience for women who are done just reading about the work—and ready to do it.

Final spots for The Immersion in Atlanta this November are now open.

Because you weren’t meant to live numb, burnt out, or braced for rejection. You were made for magnetism, softness, depth, and joy.