157: Hitting rock bottom, conscious choices and honouring your fear
Why do we wait to hit rock fucking bottom?
This goes for men and women.
When it comes to your brain, you always have a choice whether you consciously realise it or not. Whether it’s something small like 'should I leave the house?', 'what shall I have for dinner?', 'do I call him?', 'should I invest in this?', 'do I go to the doctor?', 'do I do pilates today?'... you always have a choice.
Because we're bombarded with choices, it can also feel super overwhelming, so often we don’t make choices on things that don't feel urgent or could wait. For example, I can procrastinate doing an errand because it doesn't feel urgent in comparison to everything else going on in my life (like my clients, moving in to my new apartment, etc.)
When it comes to health, you have a choice. It's very common for people to let their mental, emotional and physical health be put on the back burner because it doesn’t feel like a priority.
The classic case is men, who do this more than women because men are single focused beings. If it feels like too much work or like there's too many resources to go get help, they don’t take action until they have to. Often men put their mental health on the back burner because it doesn’t seem a priority compared to their mission (their mission can be making money for their children, staying above water, etc). They don’t want to add too many things into their life that will take away from their mission. Men are hunters and women are gatherers, which means they are also much better at suppressing their emotions, because emotions get in the way of their mission. As women, we are the gatherers and therefore our emotions and intuition are helpful. This allows us to feel danger before it happens, emphasise with our children and brings connection, which is what we seek.
All of my 1:1 male clients have waited until they hit rock bottom to hire me. This is because your brain will always make the easiest choice and by seeking help you have to face your demons and your shit will come up. It's easier to suppress it and not face it. It feels harder to do the work and to admit I would like help. It can feel harder for a man as feeling like they’ve been defeated or haven’t succeeded can be soul crushing.
For women its the same in that we wait until we dont have a choice because then it’s not a battle in our heads to choose.
When something feels scary, your brain goes into this primal response from trying to protect you from doing the unknown thing. The unknown equals scary and our brain is wired to make us run from this. For example, we stay in relationships that are not serving us because we’re scared of being alone. We wait for things to get so bad that being alone seems better than being in the relationships. It's all about energy expenditure and what feels like the easiest option.
WHAT WOULD MONICA DO?
People get so in their heads about things, that they find making the decision for their higher self very challenging. The more that you can do things to slow down your body, your nervous system, relax and be in your heart, you’ll find it easier to listen to your inner truth and higher self, and you’ll feel safer to make these choices.
Day after day, continue to make the conscious choice of choosing the path that will get you to your next level. Allow yourself to feel nervous, feel that anxiety about the unknown, and be ok with that.
Make friends with your fear. What are you afraid of? How can you make friends with that? Welcome your fear, instead of trying to run away from it.
*Trigger warning* - a lot of people are addicted to their trauma. People are addicted to having a label of I have depression, I have anxiety, I have PCOS, I have endo, I have daddy issues. People are addicted to their victim mentality because it actually releases an adrenaline rush. It makes them feel part of something and gives them something to connect on.
Listen to the IGTV I mentioned HERE, about why you’re addicted to your trauma.
If you haven’t joined Your Perfect Period, I hope this episode has helped you realise FUCK waiting until I hit rock bottom, have to get surgery or I'm in screaming pain on the floor.
Honour your fear.
Choose from the truth inside of you that knows jumping the gun before you hit rock bottom is going to be so fucking worth it.
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2:22, tune in to hear the most hilarious sneeze. Only Monica would have orgasmic sneezes LOL. Also, hello angel numbers!